nixxielicious

newsflash!

2005-07-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

yabang mode:

i got an A in my first major exam in psy 101! woohoo! and that's not all! the best part is i bested everyone else in sir sagmit's three classes! i was so not expecting this! talk about tsamba! i guess i "just got lucky" haha!

i deserve a treat. ice cream anyone?

this shit is bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

2005-07-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

i'm at a loss of words. just how exactly do i describe this week?

it started out really shitty after our loss to the green ones on sunday. monday was, uh, actually i couldn't remember what happened last monday because it was so blah. then on tuesday, we had our first exam in stat which i barely studied for (no bullshit), because i got too depressed and sleepy to do anything else the night before. i had one hell of an experience in theo class -- let's not talk about that. i also learned that i am 16% body fat, a far cry from the embarrassing 3% which i orginally thought i'd turn out to be hehe! i cut on wednesday because "my back hurt" then i learned that i got an A in my stat exam (woohoo! yabang na!). i was also touched by my beloved deblocked kasi they made me realize that may nagmamahal pa rin sa akin haha! thursday super sucked for me because of pinoy -- let's also not talk about that. and today, well, today was pretty ok. i saw two of my crushes (yes, plural) and had a fun time lalo na with pats, ches and the boys after stat class (pip = chicks before friends haha!).

oh, i almost forgot, something freakishly interesting happened to me two days ago, methinks. i checked my myspace account after like 80 years or something, and i saw that someone sent me a message. when i opened it, it read that it was from a nicole who has exactly the same first and last names as i do. she said that every time she'd search for her name, i'd always come up so she checked me out. to make the long story short, she thought that we were related, so she asked me if her lolo's name rang a bell. i emailed my dad and it turned out that her lolo and my lolo are second cousins! it was just really weird because we're literally thousands of miles apart, she being from phoenix and i being here in manila, and of all the places naman that we could meet, in myspace pa! amazing! haha!

i better go before i get all crazy here. still tamad to make kuwento about everything that's been going on with me. i'll be gonna-gone!

it's been a long time...

2005-07-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry to have kept you waiting for my next post (as if anybody ever really bothers to read my entries! hehe!). i've been hella busy with school stuff. di bale, when i have time, i'll make kuwento about my (mis)adventures these past few weeks (including my long overdue orsem and chesca's debut stories). but for now, since i have to study for my first stat exam tomorrow, i'm gonna make this super quick.

my most newsworthy sharing as of late would have to be yesterday's game between ateneo and la salle. it was the first ateneo-la salle game of the 68th season of the uaap, and the green archers claimed the victory. it super sucked for us katipuneros! the biggest lead was 32 points, but by the end of the game, we made habol naman kaya 18 points na lang yung lamang. oh well, i guess it simply means that we're meant for greater things.

that's all for now. i hope the next game won't turn out to be be so crappy. go ateneo! one big fight! wish me luck tomorrow!

one sick puppy

2005-06-13T14:28:00.000+08:00

i'm sick. and i'm not faking it this time.

headache. runny nose. fever. bad timing! may pasok pa naman na tomorrow! grrr!

therefore, my kuwento session about my hau'oli experience and my night-out with the girls will be postponed for another entry. i wanna be as chipper as i can be when i share, lest i'll spoil the kilig (my "orsem romance" according to anj) and funny elements of my stories. hehe!

oh god i hate this feeling! please make me well na!

the perfect heart

2005-06-12T11:31:00.000+08:00

i got this from a bulletin board post of a friendster friend:

one day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. a large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. there was not a mark or a flaw in it. yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. the young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." the crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. it was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. in fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. the people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought.

the young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "you must be joking," he said. "compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears." "yes," said the old man, "yours is perfect looking but i would never trade with you. you see, every scar represents a person to whom i have given my love -- i tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, i have some rough edges, which i cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

sometimes i have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. these are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance. although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love i have for these people too, and i hope someday they may return and fill the space have waiting. so now do you see what true beauty is?"

the young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. he walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. he offered it to the old man with trembling hands. the old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. it fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. the young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. they embraced and walked away side by side.

what is the sound of a heart breaking?

2005-06-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

i copied this off my multiply friend's (rocky) blog post:

what is the sound of a heart breaking?

it is the sound of someone curled up in a tiny ball crying softly in the night,
the sound of the first unwanted teardrop touching your skin,
it's the sound of a telephone that doesn't ring,
the sound of regret pounding inside your brain with every heartbeat,
it's the whispers of the toy animals he gave you.

it's the shuffling of feet walking away from you,
the sound of your soul shattering into a million pieces at recognizing the word "goodbye,"
it's the soundtrack of memories torturing you,
it's the sound of feeble hands trying to push back the obstinate hands of time,
it's the sound of a cherub's dying breath,
the sound of all those years disappearing in the vortex of cupid's kitchen sink,
it's the unrelenting plaintive baby meows of an abandoned kitten outside an ignoring door.

it's the sound of the rain that doesn't ever stop,
the sound of all the doors shutting and closing in your face at the same time,
of raging, howling storms in the night when there's no one there to hold you,
the sound of your voice as it screams back at you,
the echo of "i love yous" burning holes in you,
the sound your heart makes as it tells you to lie still because nothing you will ever do will matter without love.

the sound of the waves of the polluted beach you went to as it moves from the shore and crashes inside your mind,
of the sniffles that make up your pathetic "sos-to-the-world,"
the cracking of the brittle black-red petals from the sidewalk vendor roses he gave,
the sound of the music he used to make going to your gut.

the sound of things in your room being thrown around and landing on the floor,
the caress of kitchen knives on skin,
the sound your throat makes as you swallow your saltiest tear.

it's the sound of your own voice calling out to someone who isn't there,
of dying birds getting splattered on a city pavement,
of terms of endearment used a hundred times a day struggling to crawl into a vacuum of forgetfulness,
it's the sound of your own sobs keeping you company,
it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air you share your space with.

destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding.
sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as a feather falling on the floor of a zen monastery.
no one else can really hear your heart breaking except you.

-- karen kunawicz

waiting for mr. sandman

2005-05-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

yesterday must have been my most exhausting day this summer. i woke up at 5:30 am to attend the logistics training for the upcoming orsem. i got there a little past 7, registered, then sat around while waiting for my block mates who also volunteered. sadly, they didn't show up (it's either they got tamad or didn't receive the notice regarding the training), so i ended up all by my lonesome until around 10 when i bumped into kar and luigi. we had some gd's (group dynamics) like mamera (piso! piso! piso!) and world war (trinidad and tobago!). i got kicked pa nga sa leg while everyone was running around! buti na lang it didn't bruise. i had to leave at 11:30 to start preparing in time for myx's debut at 6 pm. when i got home, i had lunch and then left again to get shoes. i got back at 3, had my nails done (which turned out to be a massacre -- i got a blood stain on my dress), bathed, changed clothes and did my make-up. i left the house at 4:30 just in case we encounter major traffic along the way. i stopped by burgundy to check karen out but she still wasn't home at the time. i went ahead na lang so that nikki won't be ms. early bird again. but surprise surprise! i became ms. early bird! i arrived at 6 pero i didn't get in muna because i didn't think anyone i knew was already inside. plus, karen lost my invite! she got lost pa in the fort! she didn't know where essensa was so they had a hard time getting to the venue. it was a good thing nikki got there already kaya i didn't look like a complete idiot.

the entire place was filled with hues of aqua blue and olive green, two of myx's favorite colors. a lot of her relatives were there, as well as her bene and youth on fire friends (who made habol in time for the 18 roses). too bad darms wasn't there to share the occasion with all of us. i was looking forward to see him there pa naman. the highlight of the program would have to be when her lolo daddy surprised her and gave her keys to a brand new car (sana ako rin!). the night ended with some dancing which kinda morphed into a "you got served" exhibition. i had no idea her yof friends were dancers! hehe! i also made new friends, one of them is my batch mate pa in ateneo.

i had a great time mainly because i was "reunited" with some of my friends from high school and because i spent the whole night laughing with nikki. i really missed her a lot. after that "dark period" in our friendship, for the first time, i truly felt that everything was 100% ok. after accepting the fact that things have, indeed, changed and that they will never be like they once were, i can now genuinely say that i have moved on and that things can only get better for us. from now on, no guy will ever, i repeat, EVER, get in the way of my friendships again.

i could still hardly feel my legs and i'm starving. i think i better get something to eat. good night!